I’d rather be blogging how I used to blog than sitting here trying to come up with an ideological analysis, or write a critical review of my training session… or study for this damn final tomorrow! So, here I am relieving some stress on this blog as I sit and take a look around this crowded computer lab at 12:08AM. Student life. All I can think about is everything I’d rather be doing… Everything that I’m going to do after I get this degree once and for all!
It’s been a never ending battle: Me vs. School. LIFE happens…
independence.
new people.
new environment.
parties.
drugs.
alcohol.
love. (maybe this falls under drugs)
losing yourself.
finding yourself.
creating yourself.
defining yourself……..
you get distracted, you take breaks, you drop out, you come back, you fail again, you give it another go… then you realize….
you’re almost done!
and you’re here… in this lab, typing away on this blog when you should be concentrating on that 15 page paper.
Where has the time gone? the minutes, the hours, the years… time is fleeting.
*PAUSE*
In the midst of writing in this blog and thinking about life… I get a call from a close family member going through some serious issues. A wave of emotions sets in as I listen to her tone of voice… a voice void of happiness and full of worry. The transference of energy from one phone reciever to the next. I had to step out of the computer lab to fully express myself in all of my emotion. So much was said, so many feelings were expressed in a 12 minute conversation.
LIFE happens.
For each and every one of us…. constantly, at every moment we are being tested. How many of us pass? How many of us take the concepts that we’ve learned from past situations and apply them to the next exam life throws at us? How many of us grow?
Accept Ourselves?
Forgive our past mistakes?
Know our worth?
Let go of the poison that holds you back?
How many of us are able to do all these things? It is a blessing to be able to take the good from the bad. To truly have the ability to evolve from tragic, devastating, and hurtful situations. Life can be shitty at times, no doubt… But it’s one’s own choice whether it stays that way or not.
Too often we’re concerned about what others think about us, what he or she said, what we heard through the grapevine, what others expect from us, all the drama, all the fuss. I’ve found that none of that shit matters. Let. it. go. Letting go is such a liberating feeling.
You’ve got to be willing to make changes and sacrifice… I promise its worth it! Everyone grows in time, sets their own pace, decides when they’re ready for what’s next. And when that epiphany comes… its the greatest feeling and failing no longer becomes an option. There is no guidebook, per se… but making certain simple choices can go a long way! Some things that have helped me:
1. give up bad habits for good ones (i.e. smoking cigarrettes for working out, fast food for fruits or veggies, etc…)
2. focus on mental and emotional wellness in order to conquer physical wellness.
3. READ… not blogs or magazines.. but actual BOOKS with pages with relevance.
3. turn off your phone, log off from the internet, and disconnect from the world every once in a while to be with yourself. reflect on where you are in life and visualize where you want to be.. what steps are you taking to get there?
4. surround yourself, associate and engage with people who inspire you… people who hold the qualities that you admire. (this includes your online social networks)
5. be selective.
6. forgive others and yourself.
7. creative expression.
8. make mistakes… we’ll learn eventually.
The list goes on, and i’m really not trying to preach… just share the goodness.
